If the praise of man elates me and his
blame depresses me;
if I cannot rest under misunderstanding without
if I love to be loved more than to love,
to be served more than to serve,
then I know nothing of Calvary love
-Amy Carmichael, IF.
The ability to be unmoved by the praise or accusation of man, for the sake or cause of Christ is a place I am consciously pursing. I desire to be seated In HIM in heavenly places and unmoved by the fleeting accolades, and the far too numerous accusations of man. To be secure in my identity as the beloved of God, called according to His purposes, and not the appointments of man, to live steady under His gaze is a desire, and goal of my heart.
I do not know yet what it is like to live “at rest” under misunderstanding. The desire to justify the intents and purposes of my actions pushes me to voice my concerns and clarify my point when misunderstanding arises. I am searching for the balance between ” if you know your brother has something against you, go to him” and “being silent before your accusers”. I am looking to find the shelter in his embrace that though the world wag their head and “say all manner of evil” against me, it doesn’t change who I am in The Beloved. That place that keeps me in love, though I am moved against in hate. I have the knowledge in my mind, but I need it to be a reality in my heart. For out of the heart we live. Search my heart oh Lord…where is this reality?
Father, help me to not rise to my own defense when others think wrongly of me. Let me learn that place in the fellowship of your sufferings where abiding in you is my natural, not second or third response. I ask you to show me the rest that is available to me in the knowledge of your love, a place that is my refuge, and my strong tower of defense. Show me the servants towel, and the gentle way your hands wash the feet of your enemy. Show me how to love. How to give of myself unreservedly and how to receive unashamedly.